Say What You Want

I rather enjoy Tarot. Maybe it's because I know I may never fully understand its mystery. Even so, the system is intriguing and soothing for me.

I am currently (and have been for the last five days) meditating on a specific set of cards from the Chrysalis Tarot.  This process is conducive to my journey on a serious and necessary path towards authenticity, self love, and Divine life purpose. Today's goal was to focus, specifically, on the Eight of Mirrors and implement a meditative exercise pertaining to the theme of this card and where it lies in the tracks of my journey. My daily draw, however, was pulled from a different deck, the Saints & Angels Oracle. (By Doreen Virtue)

I drew St. Christopher. (Card Meaning: Safe Travels)

I am Catholic, though my practice has been dwindling in my 30s.  I was raised in a home where we prayed the rosary as a family after dinner, and every school year at St. Francis de Sales we wondered who would laugh first during Stations of the Cross. So obviously the language within that system will more than likely always be my "key" or "legend" with regard to learning about or delving into other forms of divination and meditation.

St. Christopher's "claim to fame" was his physical strength and size. Essentially, his job was to "carry people across a river." One day a small child asked for transport. Christopher did so, but almost collapsed trying to complete his task. The weight of this tiny human nearly brought him to his knees. The boy was revealed to be Christ. Christopher's name means "Christ bearer." (St. Christopher is the Patron Saint of Travelers).

I am fairly confident that even non-Christians can recognize that Christ is often seen as a symbol of goodness. They do not have to subscribe to this idea or belief but, for the most part, the general population, if shown a portrait of Jesus, would conclude he represents light energy, heaven, miracles, "goodness." On this personal journey in accepting and (re-)identifying with my faith, I have found one "key" to bringing the Eight of Mirrors into my heart.

In the guidebook for Chrysalis Tarot, Toney Brooks explains, "In your reading, the Eight of Mirrors card urges you to pursue the words of the prophets written on the mountainsides of self-awareness." He further states and concludes "The eight mirrors lining the sacred path reflect the teachings of the great sages: selflessness, truthfulness, harmlessness, mindfulness, respectfulness, goodness, peacefulness and righteousness."  (p32)

One of several reasons I am meditating on Chrysalis' Eight of Mirrors is because I MUST find these qualities within myself AND others. By seeing the world in a monstrous light, I become the "the monster." This sounds dramatic and I am exaggerating a little by portraying myself as a beast. But if I continue to believe I am "unworthy," if I remain in a state of denial, if I promote what is not "real" in my heart, I will be lost in a noisy, black existence. This is the tip of the iceberg as I realize my journey will be life-long. But as I write that, I feel comforted. How exciting to know I will be learning and evolving for the rest of my days in this life.

It is like an adventure, a mission I have chosen to accept.

This piece is not to say Catholicism is my answer. And, admittedly, my upbringing in such a devout family/community may have ingrained in me some (not the root or all) feelings and beliefs of "unworthiness.  However, this particular faith system represents (the) one main consistency I have had in my life. And believe me, my life has not had much more consistency outside of that spiritual foundation and the fundamentals of that particular prayer, intention and manifestation practice.

So... I'm working on myself. I am using the glorious Chrysalis Tarot, which I can say without a doubt was Divinely Guided into my life. Between Holly Sierra's stunning imagery and Toney Brooks' teaching and guidance through "The Otherworld," I believe many other tarot enthusiasts will be able to expand their self-awareness -- just be helped or simply validated, rejuvenated, educated.  I am incredibly humbled by some of the experiences that have been occurring. I am, in essence, picking up the weight of all the garbage I've dumped in and on myself and ready to set it down. I haven't collapsed yet. I can breathe in and begin to find reflections of the qualities I hope to find in my path's mirrors.

I thank St. Christopher for "translating" these things for me. I could probably write more and I should write more about the glorious and unending synchronicity that is washing over this entire meditation structure, from its auspicious beginning to its sweet inspiration this afternoon.

I have so much further to go. I want to.
All good things.

After I wrote on a FB Divination Group page that I had a "Whoa" moment, I went to my headphones and (as has been happening these last five days) waited for the "Shuffle" option on the iPod to play me a "confirmation song."  I was not denied.

"A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton praised through the ear buds, angelic and (yes, corny.) . . . but appropriate.

Message received.

(The title to this entry was taken from a Nelly Furtado song "Powerless (Say What You Want)