Unspoken

One of the best compliments I ever received in my life was from a young man with whom I had a joyful, healthy love.

After five years of dating, he shared a song with me and an idea behind his correlation between myself and the ballad; that he often thought of me when he would hear it while driving to work or while fishing on the lake or when it just happened to play in the grocery store.

I was holding his bear-like, yellow lab's paw on a regular night of an ordinary week in our average life, whispering my thoughts into the dog's collar, when this young man turned the volume up on the kitchen radio. An affectionate piano intro began to quiet over the stovetop. "This reminds me of you," he said. Then an ever-familiar voice crooned into lyrics that, at first, made me feel uneasy:

"She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes...
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies. And she only reveals what she wants you to see. . ."

"Heyyyy." I whined and then laughed.

He winked.

"...She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me."

"Oh." I softened. 

Obviously, that is a famous song by Billy Joel. And I knew of it at the time, but I hadn't ever really paid attention to it.

I have always been rambunctious and . . . well, loud; excitable, enthusiastic, lively. He was an all-American type, athletic, tall, reserved and proud. He wasn't full of words and it was challenging for him to express himself because he was incredibly shy. So when he explained to me, more so with his big, green eyes than his voice, "This song is so 'you'. . . " I knew he meant it, and I understood it came from a tender place within him. And to be writing about it 15 years later shows it truly meant something to me, as well.

It feels good when people share their personal association, symbol or vision of you with you, especially when it is so flattering.

Last week, a friend of mine brought to my attention, causing me to pause in this revelation, that I can be likened to The Mime (Page of Spirals) in Chrysalis Tarot. Now, this friend is more than proficient in tarot and they're an even better human being.  So I hold their opinion above many others.  The funny thing is I actually had, days prior, held The Mime in my hand. I thought, "Look at this girl. That's you," chuckling.

I will also add this was brought to my attention during a window of time when images of rams were popping up all around me.  It actually began when I went to TJ Maxx. I was looking to find a specific mug. (No luck.)  However, I was incredibly drawn to an aisle towards the back of the store.  This is where I found three rams just staring at me. Since that afternoon, one of them has implanted his gaze in my heart, the most potent seed, flourishing through veins and lungs; lips and eyes.

Rams are symbolic of fertility, determination, action, initiative, and leadership. In fact, here are some other attributes (taken from this site).

Power

Force

Drive

Energy

Virility

Protection

Fearlessness

A day later I received my "winning deck" from a fun promotional giveaway by U.S. Games Systems, Inc. I chose The Mystical Lenormand. My favorite card in the Lenormand system is No. 26, The Book. It always has been. So I sifted through each card after opening my prize. I had no idea what image I thought I was supposed to find, but you can imagine my bedazzled wonder when I pulled this out.

(This deck is stunning, by the way. Absolutely gorgeous and unique.)

In terms of a ram's symbol to femininity, I had quite a bit of luck with finding information here. It's an article about the image of a ram's head being Shamanic, and how the lovely author believes women are shamanic by nature. Ram's horns can easily be compared to that of a woman's fallopian tubes in her womb, and this is a sacred area of her body, where a human is first nurtured from a tiny speck or cell.

This, the comparison of the womb to ram's horns, is actually heavily placed throughout a famous Mexican-Spanish film by Guillermo Del Toro, "Pan's Labyrinth," or El laberinto del fauno (its original title, which I think sounds much better. It is also known for its heart-wrenching score and soundtrack.) The entry to the labyrinth is a tall gate/tree shaped like a ram's or goat's horns -- fallopian tubes. This imagery is imperative to the movement of the story. I believe the entire film is about life, death and rebirth; themes flowing through my own life at this very moment.

I happened to catch this film on the Sundance Channel, just a few nights ago. (Another "sign" or synchronic event)  When the credits began to roll at the end of the movie, I found myself thinking of innocent times; childhood, young adult, "Always a Woman," the maze of my life's journey and then suddenly, Ariadne (The Death card in Chrysalis Tarot.)

Sometimes you have to enter the maze and conquer your own personal Minotaur to move forward. You may not even necessarily have to slay him. If it is an amicable farewell, you can tell the massive, intimidating creature "...It's time."

And, similar to a mime, simply wave or bid adieu with your watery eyes and reassuring grin. This is all for the best. Have gratitude for the thread that was provided you in reaching this center and then emerge with vigor, refreshed and renewed.

Maybe I am like The Mime. I am so very young at heart. Immature? Yes, more than I care to admit. But this only affords me the opportunity to keep evolving. I have a superb memory, which can sometimes haunt those who know me well. However, I know I may still have my own repressed memories to shake up, which is The Mime's key trait.

And those who know her and her trusted friend, The Ram, can see beyond the comedic white face and red lips. They will be soothed by the inspirations and positive thoughts blooming behind her flashy presence.

I also like to think, because a traditional mime uses unspoken communication, she can kill with her smile and wound with her (painted, tear-drop) eyes. . . all for the greater good, of course.